Disclaimer: If you are not a fan of whining, you might want to skip this post all together, because I feel like whining. I know things could be a lot worse, but I still want to whine.
Disclaimer #2: I know I need to find things for which I am thankful. I have been reading A Holy Experience lately. I am new to her blog and plan on reading her book, One Thousand Gifts. I am looking forward to making my "list". However, right now-I just want to whine. I'll start my list tomorrow, or whenever I actually get the book.
You know when you go to the pet store, and you watch those little hamsters and rats run on their little wheels; they are running their little hearts out and yet get nowhere. I always wonder why they keep running on that thing. I mean, don't they know they get ANYWHERE? And do they even have fun on those little wheels?
That's what I feel like right now-a rat on a wheel, getting nowhere. I still can't seem to catch up on my housework-it almost feels like a hopeless cause. I tell you, it's all the flu's fault. It seems since I had the durn flu, I just can't catch up. The flu caused my Lyme disease to get worse-at least that is what I think-because my Lyme test came back worse. This new medicine I'm on is pretty strong so naturally, we'll just say, my food runs through me pretty quickly. Sorry-just the truth.
Also, with the new medicine, I'm herxing. I bet you are wondering what that is. It sounds so weird-herxing. Well, to satisfy your curiosity, you can read more about Lyme and herxing here. Today, I slept all day, because my body hurt so bad I didn't want to think about it. My toes hurt too much to walk, my fingers hurt too much to do whatever fingers do, and my upper thighs and behind hurt so bad, they felt like I had done like 1,000 squats-and if you saw my house, you would know that I most certainly haven't done even 1 squat, because I haven't done squat. And apparently, it is making me write really long sentences that probably don't make any sense.
I'm feeling slightly better, although it is time for more ibuprofen, and I'm still not a fan of walking.
All of this combined makes me feel like a very bad housekeeper, wife, and mother. I am doing just the bare necessities around here while the Other Nut has to help, and I don't really like feeling like I'm doing things half way and that I'm a pitiful mommy and wife. There are baskets everywhere and not a lot of food around here. My oldest daughter has some food allergies, and I haven't even made her bread for her. Yesterday, I actually let her have ice-cream for breakfast. Yes, that says breakfast. Makes me feel like a winner. Actually, she thought I was like the coolest mommy ever. Like I said, just the bare necessities. I wonder if my kids are tired of hearing, "mommy doesn't feel well today." Maybe they think I'm just a lazy bum. I know I feel like a lazy bum right now.
I am thankful for the Other Nut though. He is so kind to me during these times. He just wants me to rest and sleep so I can get better. But I'm tired of feeling like I'm taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back. Is this the way it is going to be forever?
OK so maybe I got my whining out. I don't know. Maybe I'll find out tomorrow. Thanks, blogland, for letting me whine. It's just where I'm at-in whiney mode. Like I said, I'll start my list another day.