Sunday, August 7, 2011

Hard Questions

I wondered if they would come, the hard questions I mean. And they did.

"Mom, why did God make me have this problem? I mean, He just doesn't seem like the type of person that would put me through this. But I do know that He has a purpose, I just don't know what it is. And also, mom. I know that He can heal me right now, but what if He doesn't? I guess I just don't know what my future holds, but I know He has a purpose."

My little mommy heart was just rocking back and forth between sadness and joy. I don't want my little Hazelnut to have to worry about this for the rest of her life. But I also want her to wrestle with these hard questions to grow her faith.

Do we ever stop wrestling with these questions? The "why" questions, because really often times we don't understand the bigger picture, the God-plan for our lives.

And I'm thankful for my little 10 year old's faith, and my heart poured forth joy and thanksgiving as I watched her take communion this morning at church, as I watched all of my children take communion. There is nothing better than watching your kids eat of the bread and drink of the cup, knowing that they love Jesus.

And the little Hazelnut couldn't wait to get there this morning and partake, because "it's so important." Last night she danced around the kitchen, simply excited for church in the morning.

She couldn't wait to see her friends, and as she said, "tell them about the power of God."

While I walked away from the weekend in the hospital feeling traumatized, for lack of a better word, my little Hazelnut walked away with a deeper faith. I can see it. I can hear it in her words, in her constant awareness of God and His power around her.

"Mom, I believe that God made that game break so I could get my sister and brother a toy. If it hadn't broke, I wouldn't have been able to play an extra game and get more tickets. I think God did that for me, mom. He wanted me to get them a toy, and so I did."

"Mom, do you know that I prayed God would help me find a good swimsuit, one that wasn't tacky. And do you know mom, that we did find one."

"Mom, I am. so. excited to go to church. Mom, I get to tell people about the power of God in my life."

She could hardly get to sleep. 

And I remembered my prayer a while back, a prayer that asked God to really show Himself to my little Hazelnut, that she would really see Him and even now at a young age, begin to live passionately for Him.

With Bible in hand, and tithe too, off she went this morning to share about the power of God to a room full of her friends. It was her testimony of a big God that she really saw this weekend. And she didn't forget; His provisions and protection bound to her heart forever.

May this be the start of a wonderful God-story of her life that honors God and lives passionately for Him. 

May I cling to this truth of what He did for her and her faith this weekend when anxiety tries to take hold and steal this joyful truth.

May I choose to see a faith that grew, and a little girl that really saw Jesus.

Have you really seen Him? I mean, really seen Him for all that He is, and all that He does?



My daily walk in His grace! said...

Hi Tami - I think your daughter's example is why Jesus said to us to come to Him as little children. Their faith is so much stronger than our sometimes. Still praying for you guys.
God bless

Lisa Maria said...

It really warms my heart to see your daughter's faith! I don't know if we ever stop wondering the whys but then faith steps in and we just let go.. such freedom in letting go. You did such a great job of planting those seeds of faith God is watering that faith and I just know its going to produce wonderful fruit!

Pamela said...

What a beautiful example of childlike faith. I want to carry that picture with me as I go about my week. I know God smiled on your daughter -- and the momma who planted faith seeds in her little heart.

I hope your Monday will be full of blessings.


"Ima" said...

Tracy-yes, I agree. Little children have such an amazing faith at times.

"Ima" said...

Hey Lisa Maria-thank you! It does warm my heart too. And amen about the faith stepping in and letting go. I let little Bee spend the night with a friend and actually go swimming in this awful heat :) The Other Nut was so proud of me. Thank you for your sweet comments and support across the seas-you have been such a blessing to me.

And Tracy-you too, all the way in South Africa-what a blessing!

Thank you Pamela for you sweet encouragement as well. How I pray that I can plant some seeds through her life. So thankful that God does the watering! And yes, I do believe God smiled down on my little Hazelnut as she shared about God. I know I smiled :)

Debbie said...

This one makes me want to leap for joy!! If I have ever seen "come to me as a little child" in clearer example, I don't know when.

Laura said...

What a special little girl you have! Her faith says so much about the way you have led her, the way you model Jesus. What a gift to hear her faith expressed so strongly. A lesson for me today too, Tami. So grateful for the ways you have shared this journey with us. Thank you.

Graceful said...

Wow, Tami, your daughter's faith astounds and inspires me -- what a convicting example of true faith. I am so glad to read this tonight...and so glad you linked up such a special post.

Grateful to meet you here tonight, Tami!

"Ima" said...

Debbie-it made my heart leap for joy as well. And I couldn't help but smile when people told me how it blessed them. The Other Nut and I talked about how thankful we are that God has called our children as His own-we are so thankful that He called them, and know it isn't anything that we have done.

I agree Laura, she is so special. My kids teach me more than I teach them everyday. I pray that they remember more the times I model Jesus, and not so much the times that I don't-which unfortunately is more times than not. Thank you for your kind words, and for hosting "Playdates with God".

"Ima" said...

Michelle-thanks for stopping by. I was glad to link up for the first time. Looking forward to linking up more often. It is a great example of true faith isn't it. I wish I would get as excited about going to church as she was-she was doing a little going to church dance in the kitchen. Where is my dancing Saturday night? Oh to be a child sometimes again.

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